Tag Archives: words

Language

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Today, in a time span of less than six hours, I heard more curse words strung together than I ever heard before. I listened to young children say words they did not understand, and senior players belting out words that they certainly understood. While writing this I am shaking my head in frustration. There is a time and a place for bad language, but until you reach twenty-one there is not a single situation so bad that requires vehement cursing.

George Washington - "Stop Cursing!"
George Washington – “Stop Cursing!”

George Washington once stated: “the foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it.” Speaking to young players for a moment; when you curse you cast your immaturity into sharp relief. When you drop an F-bomb you only show your inability to speak intelligently without resorting to base insults. Yet, in these situations I do not blame the child. I blame the parents.

A few years back, when Atlanta Youth Lacrosse was still at Murphy Candler Park. I was playing against two opponents who cursed all game. The officials put them in the penalty box over and over again, but neither player seemed to understand that they should firmly shut their mouths. When the game ended, I packed my gear into my bag and walked over to my dad. I passed my two opponents and their father. He was dropping curse words left and right about how terrible the referees were. Put simply, the apples did not fall very far from the tree.

Now I only blame the parents if the child is under sixteen. If a sixteen-year-old player is cursing at or around me while at AYL. He is going to get a serious talking to. Players, there comes a time when you must step out on your own as a responsible individual. Cursing shows that your are still a child, and not worthy of additional responsibilities.

Looking back on my formative years, I cannot say there was a good reason for me to curse at another person. However, I was impulsive. I lacked the what I now call the “brain-mouth connection.” I cursed because I was frustrated at some perceived slight or the lack of fairness directed my way by a person or situation. I became proficient at stringing together imaginative combinations that left my friends’ mouths on the floor. The problem was, I did not understand the full impact of my words. I said them without a care in the world. Never realizing how foolish they made me appear.

As an adult, and role model for our youth players, I cannot afford to lose control of my mouth. So I replace my curse words with “G” rated words. Which I now give to all of our players, parents, adult fans, and coaches:

  • Fishsticks!
  • Jimmeny Christmas!
  • Darn (or Darnit)!
  • Crud!
  • Shucks!
  • Awwwwwww!
  • Shoot!
  • Weak!

Feel free to add to this list, but it should provide everyone with a basic filter for curse words.

We Don't Encourage This ^

We Don't Encourage This ^

Finally, when players, coaches, and fans curse during a lacrosse game you disgrace yourselves. Worse, you disgrace the game. There is a reason why the rulebook requires a minimum 1-minute Unsportsmanlike Conduct Penalty for cursing starting at “damn.” At Atlanta Youth Lacrosse we do not tolerate sullying the game that we love and respect. I do not care if cursing is a family thing like the two opponents I once played against. Or if you just learned a new and shocking curse word. You do not curse on the lacrosse field. Treat it like a church and keep your mouth to yourself. If that concept does not click for you then remember what my mom used to tell me: “Gordon, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.”

Featured Image Credit – www.questions.thoughts.com

Cheers,
Gordon

Communication

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As Paul Newman said in Cool Hand Luke, “what we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.”

There are many coaches, players, and parents who are at a loss for words. The coach says “hold the ball,” and the player decides to shoot. A parent’s condolences after a tough loss fall on deaf ears. A goalie cannot get his defenseman to slide early even though he’s been screaming “slide” for the last three quarters. The list goes on but the fundamental principle is always the same: it is very difficult to get kids to pay attention.

Now this is not a knock on kids. They are playing a game on a large field wearing awkward equipment and everyone seems to be yelling at them. Unfortunately many people, when they cannot get their point across, decide to INCREASE THEIR VOLUME and say the exact same thing over and over again. How many times have you heard a varsity coach say “pick up the ball,” … “pick up the ball,” … “PICK UP THE BALL!!!!” Rarely does this type of discourse resolve the situation. So how can coaches properly communicate to youth players when even varsity and college coaches have difficulty?

The answer is to Keep It Simple Sweetie. Or the KISS principle and I share the basics of KISS Communication here:

  • Say the simplest, most fundamental version of what you want to get across.
  • If the player does not do what you want on the field wait until they come off the field. Then repeat what you want him/her to do.
  • Do not raise your voice out of anger or frustration. Remember you are the adult in this situation and the young player has enough adrenaline running through their system without you upping the intensity level.
  • Do not discourage always encourage. For instance, “Johnny, I like the effort but next time try doing this.” Instead of, “Johnny I pulled you off because you just do not get it.”
  • Give praise where praise is due. Players will pick up on that even if it is a simple “nice work” comment.
  • If the kid does not want to talk do not worry about it. Say what you want to say to him at the next timeout, but say it to the whole team so everyone learns.

These are some simple (see how I keep coming back to that word?) ways of getting your point across without that vein pulsing out of your forehead. For more information on effective communication in youth sports please check out the links below:

One of the best pieces of coaching advice I ever got was from Eamon Thorton. He told me, “if you can’t explain what you want a kid to do in three steps you’re talking too much.” Ever since that lesson sunk in I’ve become a much more effective communicator to youth players. Remember it is not necessary to teach a bunch of U13 kids the Princeton Zone Defense but you can teach them all to:

  • Break down
  • Keep your body between your man and the goal
  • Keep your stick in front of your body

See – three things and you just learned the fundamentals of one on one defense.

Cheers,
Gordon