Tag Archives: stupid

That’s A Stupid Rule

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“That’s stupid.”, “That’s a stupid rule.”, “We don’t use those rules, they’re stupid.”

When I hear these comments from players, coaches, fans, parents, program administrators, or tournament organizers I always take a breath to settle myself. This prevents me from starting an argument that I have no hope of winning. I usually hear the following from each group:

  • A player after calling him for withholding when he loses his crosse with the ball in it:
    • “What?! I get a chance to get my stick back! That’s a dumb rule.” 
  • A coach after flagging his #1 player for delay of game when he rolled the ball away:
    • “You’ve got to be kidding me, he was rolling it to where the restart was going to be anyway! That’s a ridiculous rule!”
  • A parent after I flag his nine year old for launching his body like a SCUD missile into the helmet of an unaware opponent:
    • “You guys take all the fun out of a physical game with these stupid rules!”
  • A program administrator explaining to me that I am to play the game without NOCSAE balls:
    • “I don’t think there is any real difference between NOCSAE balls and non-NOCSAE balls. That was a stupid rule they put in, and we choose not to use those balls in our games.”
  • A tournament organizer on goalie arm pads at the youth level:
    • “It doesn’t protect the goalies from shots, and it’s unnecessary equipment. It’s a stupid rule that doesn’t do anything.”

Ask anyone that knows me and they’ll tell you that I love a good rules discussion. I like bouncing weird situations off my fellow officials and then seeing who is right. If I’m right I have a mini-parade in my head complete with Matthew Broderick singing “Twist and Shout.” If I’m wrong I feel bad and try to remember if I misapplied the rule in any earlier game I reffed. Those are great rules discussions because there isn’t much emotion involved since officials look at the rules as nothing more than the rules. We just want to know how to apply the written rules in the fairest way possible.

I prefer to look at the rules from an officiating perspective because they make the most sense from that perspective, which is why some rules grate on every other group involved in the game. I know because I’ve been in every one of the positions listed above except for parent and can understand those perspectives. However, as soon as someone tells me that a rule is stupid I lose a great deal of respect for their position, especially if that is their only reasoning.

The argument of “that’s stupid” worked brilliantly for me and my friends during recess in elementary school. Somewhere between learning how to write a five paragraph essay and balancing an algebraic equation it was impressed upon me that the argument “that’s stupid” is pretty stupid. It doesn’t work in school, higher education, or any planning meeting I’ve ever sat on. I can’t tell a client that his idea is stupid without also having a very well-reasoned argument behind my position (and telling the client that his idea is stupid is rarely a good way to win him over to my position). Yet for reasons unknown to me “that’s stupid” is the fallback position for most people who disagree with youth rules, and their follow up argument generally goes one of two ways. Either, “that’s just how I feel,” or, “they’re ruining the game.”

I think it is time to destroy both of these tired arguments:

  • “That’s just how I feel.”
    • I get this one. I feel strongly about lots of issues. It’s the nature of being human, but feelings are terrible guides for rules. Some people feel youth goalkeepers should not be required to wear arm pads during games because they need to learn how to deal with getting whacked in the elbows when they reach an older age level, and elbow pads don’t provide protection against really hard shots and tend to limit a goalkeeper’s movement. That’s the feeling. The reason this rule was put into place is because across the country moms, dads, grandparents, coaches, and players from the opposing team would shout “Elbows! Goalie is out, get him!” whenever a goalkeeper ran out of the crease. Which led to several youth goalkeepers getting their arms bruised and broken. Feelings should never be a reason to disregard safety rules or required equipment, which, contrary to public belief, have solid logic behind them.
  • “They’re ruining the game.”
    • Ah the mysterious cabal of cloaked people who meet in a darkened alcove during a full moon and discuss how best to ruin lacrosse as we know it. The group of which everyone speaks but no one researches is the Men’s Game Rules Subcommittee, and that group is listed on the last page of the 2014 US Lacrosse Boys Youth Lacrosse Rules PDF, and unlike the Illuminati they ask for feedback: “Please send all comments or suggestions regarding the Rules for Boys’ Youth Lacrosse to the US Lacrosse Men’s Game Rules Subcommittee […] to boysyouthrules@uslacrosse.org. Please do not contact NFHS about these rules.” Here is a helpful hint: don’t send emails saying that a rule is stupid. A more reasoned argument is necessary.
    • To the other part of this poor argument – If you believe that the Men’s Game Rules Subcommittee, the NFHS, or the NCAA is trying to ruin the game with new rules then I want to know exactly when the game was perfect. Was it where it needed to be prior to being discovered by French Jesuit missionaries? Or were the rules William George Beers established in 1869 plenty? Wait, I’ve got it. The argument isn’t that the game is being ruined by new rules because if that were true then the game was ruined well before the 20th century. In fact, this really isn’t an argument. It’s just whining.
    • The one gripe I hear the most is that “they’re ruining the game by taking out hitting.” I hate to burst the bubble of these individuals, but William Beers, who wrote the first standard rules of lacrosse, stated that: “‘The perfection of checking is to check without hitting your opponent’ and that actually hitting an opponent with a check [or body] was indicative of bad or unskillful play (178, 201).” Hitting was never in the game to start with as a legal action and happened to be looked down upon. So in a sense, the game was ruined by the introduction of hitting, and all these groups are trying to do is make a contact sport as safe as possible for your child to play. What a horrible group of people.

The rules are going to change. The only reason I don’t like the rules changing is that it’s more work for me. I have to read each book and study up on how to apply new rules as fairly as possible while remembering the numerous exceptions to the old ones, but I don’t reflexively say “that’s stupid” when I come across a rule I personally disagree with because that accomplishes nothing. Do some research, come up with a better argument and then we’ll talk.

Cheers,
Gordon

PSA: Axe Body Spray

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I am constantly amazed at the level of foolishness that tends to accompany travel teams. This past weekend was no exception.

Put a bunch of young kids in a room with a few cans of Axe Body Spray and stuff will hit the fan, or the fire alarm. A few players, who will remain nameless, decided to engage in an Axe Fight. They emptied cans of spray into the enclosed room, setting off the fire alarm. I am stunned they didn’t pass out before the alarm went off considering that one spray of Axe is potent enough to kill a flock of passing geese. Normally this would not be too much of a problem, but the night manager did not have the keys to turn off their room’s fire alarm. So our enterprising young players taped a pillow over the screeching alarm until the day manager could silence it.

Do Not Inhale

Do Not Inhale

Axe Fighting is not the stupidest thing I’ve encountered. We had to ban pixie stixs from camp many years ago because a few players thought it was a good idea to snort the pixie dust. Harmful? Not really. Stupid, childish, and expected? Absolutely.

This brings me to the cardinal rule about doing foolish things: Be Smart about Being Stupid. This translates into: don’t harm anyone else but yourselves and don’t get caught. Setting off the fire alarm means you were not smart about being stupid.

If I chaperone a camp or travel team I expect a certain amount of dumb behavior so long as it does not impact those that clean up after us. Remember players, you leave that room in the morning and someone comes in to clean up after your shenanigans. These housekeepers, janitors, and custodians should not have to zip themselves into a Hazmat suit to penetrate the Axe Spray Barrier and make the bed.

I am not trying to stop players from having fun while being silly, since that is the hallmark of childhood. A player wants to see who is brave enough to stick a fork in the electrical socket? Go for it! You will black out and I will laugh hysterically. You learn a valuable lesson about cause and effect, plus you are the only one effected by your behavior. However, decide to have a water balloon fight in your nice hotel room and everyone in the room will be running wind sprints because the janitor had to clean up after you.

On a personal note, if you use Axe Body Spray – get rid of it. It smells worse than a fish market on a hot day. The only girls it attracts are the ones who lost their sense of smell because the ones that can smell will keep a respectable 50-foot distance from you to avoid that overpowering aroma. Do yourself a favor and pick up some regular deodorant. Mix that with a little charm and you should do just fine.

Featured Image Credit – www.in-this-economy.com

Cheers,
Gordon